Toastmasters International -Forming Friendships in Toastmasters

Two smiling women with glasses are embracing each other in the foreground, surrounded by a crowd of people in the background.

Think back to playing at the park when you were a child. Chances are you could just say “hi” to someone, start playing together, and suddenly, you have a new friend. It was as easy as that. As an adult, however, it can be much harder to form connections.

If you’re looking for friends or hoping to meet new people, have you considered Toastmasters as a place for that?

While most people join to improve their communication and leadership skills, Toastmasters also offers the perfect opportunity to form meaningful connections. After all, the club mission statement begins, “We provide a supportive and positive learning experience,” and that safe space results in members coming together to learn, have fun, and encourage each other. This atmosphere helps foster lifelong friendships, whether it’s with a fellow club member who lives nearby or with someone halfway across the world.

If you are hoping to form new friendships, here are 16 ideas to help you get started.

Ask open-ended questions. When you’re first getting to know someone, make sure your questions are engaging to encourage the speaker to open up to you. Avoid “yes” or “no” questions and instead ask about their life, their experiences, and what they are passionate about. Try to find something you have in common with them that you can connect on.
Be supportive of your club members. During a Toastmasters meeting, encourage speakers by cheering them on, offering positive feedback, and staying engaged during their speeches. By showing your fellow members that you care about them and want them to succeed, they’ll be more open to forming a relationship with you.
Plan an outing for your club. One of the best ways to get to know others is by spending time with them outside of a Toastmasters meeting. Host a fun get-together, such as bowling, a potluck, or a game night, or attend a District conference together. This provides you with the opportunity to interact with others on a more personal level and can help you feel more connected to your club. During the gathering, chat with your club members and ask questions to learn more about them.

Invite a club member to get coffee. Plan a casual outing so you can chat with someone. Talk about current events in your life, discuss shared interests, or recall a funny memory you have together from Toastmasters. Spending time getting to know each other one-on-one can help you form a strong connection.
Start a conversation with someone new. Do you find yourself sitting by the same people and talking to the same members after every meeting? Step outside of your comfort zone by introducing yourself to someone you haven’t talked to before. Make a good impression by making eye contact and smiling at them. At the end of the conversation, plan to catch up at the next meeting so they know you are interested in staying connected.
Give a compliment. Let a speaker know you enjoyed their speech, tell a club officer you admire their leadership skills, or tell a club member something you like about them. Not only does this show you are friendly but it’s also a great way to start a conversation with someone.
Plan a “get to know you” activity. At an upcoming meeting, encourage members to open up and interact with each other by participating in an icebreaker exercise. Display a list of fun questions, such as “What is your favorite movie or TV series?” or “What is the best vacation you’ve ever been on?” Have members break off into pairs to discuss their answers and rotate partners every few minutes until everyone has had a chance to meet.
Host a hobby-themed meeting. Encourage speakers to share what their favorite pastimes are and prepare Table Topics^® questions that ask members about what activities they enjoy doing. If someone has similar interests, or you want to know more about their hobbies, chat with them after the meeting. Plan a day to meet up and do the activity together.

Ask your mentor to introduce you to other people. Many experienced members who serve as mentors are well-connected within the Toastmasters community. Ask them if they know of anyone with similar interests that you might get along with. Set up a good time to meet and have your mentor join to acquaint you with each other and jumpstart the conversation.
Plan a joint meeting with another club. This is a fun way to meet new people and engage with them in a familiar setting. Introduce yourself to the other members and share interesting facts about yourself and your club. Ask questions to get to know them as well. At the end of the event, share your contact information so you can stay in touch.
Talk to a guest. Before the meeting starts, make the visitor feel welcome by introducing yourself to them. Ask what brought them to Toastmasters and what their goals are and share interesting details about your own journey. After the meeting, invite them to come back. When they return, continue being friendly and build off the earlier conversation.
Have every member bring a friend to a meeting. This is a great way to not only share the benefits of Toastmasters and boost your club’s membership, but also for you to meet people outside of the organization. Encourage members to bring guests who are also looking to form friendships or who have similar interests as other club members. During the meeting, set aside time to interact with the guests and get to know them.

Reconnect with a former member. Were you close to someone who had to leave your Toastmasters club? Reach out to them to catch up. Ask how they are doing, what’s going on in their life, and how their new Toastmasters club is. Let them know you would like to stay connected and plan a time to follow up with them again, whether it’s in person or online.
Take on a club leadership role. Many leaders in Toastmasters have become close friends with each because of their shared love for the organization. As a club officer, you attend meetings with the club’s Executive Committee to set goals and support members. This is an easy way to connect with a small group of people in an intimate setting, and as you work together to brainstorm and solve problems, you’ll learn more about each other. In addition to bonding over your shared commitment to the club, plan fun outings so you can get to know each other beyond your Toastmasters responsibilities.
Attend the Toastmasters International Convention. Every year, members from around the world gather to listen to speakers, learn new skills, and network with others. From social activities to meet-and-greets with speakers, there are plenty of opportunities to connect with others. Ask your club members if they are going and plan to meet up at the event, where you will create lasting memories with each other.
Remember the conversations you have with others. Think about the topics you discussed with a club member during your last interaction. For example, did they share their excitement for an upcoming trip, discuss their new job, or talk about a book they’re reading? Consider what they spoke about in a recent speech as well. Did they share a fun fact about themselves or discuss something you are interested in? During your next conversation with them, bring up that topic again to show you were actively engaged with what they were saying and are interested in talking to them.

All friendships begin by forming an initial connection with someone. Once you’ve laid the foundation, strengthen that relationship by reaching out and staying connected.